Break my heart…

Yep, that’s what I prayed for and you know the saying “be careful for what you pray for”…well, I fully understand now where THAT came from!  You see, it all started about eighteen months ago or so… our church was in a series of Sunday messages about service and loving one another and during one of the services we were challenged to “break our hearts for what breaks yours” – meaning for God to break our hearts for what breaks His.  Have you ever thought about God having a broken heart?  He sure does get a broken heart – He hurts when we hurt, He hurts when we sin, He hurts when we are sad and lonely, He hurts when we deny Him.  And, yet, just like any great parent, He rejoices when we are happy, He celebrates when we serve others and follow His word (His commandments/rules!).  So, during this one particular service I was very moved and felt God leading me to accept His challenge and I prayed to Him “break my heart for what breaks yours”.  In the following weeks and months after that there were times when I encountered some “minor” incidents where I lended a helping hand or kind word or prayer to someone and thought, “hmmm, this compassionate understanding is pretty cool” and I was feeling pretty good about following God’s challenge.  And, then, September 3, 2011 came – that day “it” occured, but I didn’t find out about it until September 4.  The details of “it” are not as important to mention here, nor do I wish to exploit my friends pain, but I hadn’t realized the fullness of my “break my heart” challenge until that day.

You see, September 3, 2011 was the BEST day of my life!  It was the day my husband, Dave, and I renewed our wedding vows after 25 years of marriage.  We coined our day “I Do, Two”, because it was kind of a “do over” for us ~ it really was the wedding we hadn’t had and was absolutely one of the most special days ever – the BEST!  It truly was a girls dream come true and, honestly, I think it was more special because it was something I had waited so long for!  Our family and friends embraced the event and made it truly just the BEST day ever!

The next morning I awoke very early, way before anyone else, so in trying to be quiet I hopped on to Facebook and decided to catch up with my friends and I began seeing messages about a friend – actually she was more of an acquaintance at that time – needing prayer.  My curiousity was peaked so I began reading more messages and before long I put together that this friend had lost a child.  Her young adult child had suddenly died.  Oh, the sadness that came over me was unbearable and I couldn’t really understand and was so puzzled, I don’t really even know this woman, so why am I so sad.  My mom was the first to awake and I scared her to death, as there I was sobbing in her kitchen (the morning after the best day, mind you!) and I shared with her “the news”.  And, as I was sharing “the news” with her my dad and Dave awoke, so there the four of  us were sitting at the kitchen table with me crying!  We sat and talked and then I just blurted out, “this is so unfair, how can we have the BEST day of our lives at the very same time a friend is having the very WORST day of her life – this makes no sense and it’s wrong, just wrong”.  At that, the four of us stopped and prayed for my friend – for comfort, strength, and peace.  Throughout that day, as we were cleaning up from our party, I would think of my friend, I wonder what she was doing, how was she doing, and I’d stop and say a little prayer. 

Now, don’t take this the wrong way, I don’t want this to come across as though I’m patting myself on the back for praying and such – this is so NOT about ME – this is about what God does with us when we are willing to open ourselves up to Him

In the days, weeks, months, and now on this year-to-date, I have come to realize the power, glory, and honor that comes from allowing ourselves to be used by God.  When we open ourselves up to Him and allow Him to work through us we may make such a difference in the lives of others.  As in Romans 12: 10 & 13 tells us, we are to love one another with genuine affection and be ready to help people in need.  (I recommend you read Romans 12 – it’s an awesome chapter in the Bible!).  I prayed for my friend daily, sometimes multiply times a day for several months, until I felt the Lord’s leading to reach out to her.  And, then He led me to begin sending her encouraging words through text/facebook messages and cards – not my words, but God’s words.  So many times I would get a response saying, “I needed to hear that today” – no one else can do that, but God!

In the last year I can see healing taking place for my friend.  Praise God!  I admire her strength and her love for the Lord.  And, you know, while my friend thanks me for praying and sharing with her, it’s really what she has done for me through this year – I have read more of the Bible in search for words to send her, I have prayed more then ever before, and have gained a very special friend.  So, through her tragedy and supporting her, God did break my heart for what was breaking His (and hers), because He was heart sick for my friend; and He turned that into breaking my heart so that I would be more compassionate and through that I have learned so much and gained such pleasure out of Him using me.  Not pleasure in my friend’s suffering, but pleasure in God using me and instructing me. 

God enriches our lives in amazing ways, but we have to choose to be open to that.  I pray that you will take the challenge to have God break your heart for what breaks His – because I can assure it will be one of the BEST things you may ever do. 

In closing here are the lyrics to a song that brings what I’m trying to say “full circle”:


verse 1: I see the King of glory; Coming on the clouds with fire; The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes; I see His love and mercy; Washing over all our sin; The people sing, the people sing

verse 2: I see a generation; Rising up to take the place; With selfless faith, with selfless faith; I see a near revival; Stirring as we pray and seek; We’re on our knees, we’re on our knees.

Chorus: Hosanna, Hosanna; Hosanna in the highest

verse 3:  Heal my heart and make it clean;  Open up my eyes to the things unseen; Show me how to love like You have loved me;  Break my heart for what breaks Yours; Everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause;  As I walk from earth into eternity

I pray that you open up yourself for what God may use you for.  Have a blessed day!

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