Author: Jacqueline's Jive

Happy New Year!  So, over the course of the last few weeks I have been hearing others discuss what their new year’s resolution will be.  Well, we are nearly through the first day of 2014….what’s your resolution?  Have you broken your resolution yet?  Or, maybe you don’t make resolutions.  I don’t either!  Well, I do, but it’s not really a resolution, it is a WORD!  Thanks to a very sweet friend’s wisdom, for several year’s now I have been selecting a word as my “theme” for the coming year.  But, before I get to the “word”, I have to give you my Bible verse that goes with it!  

Matthew 5:16 ~ “In the same way, you should be a light for other people. Live so that they will see the good things you do and will praise your Father in heaven”. (NCV)

So, in the year to come, this verse and the “word” will be what I use as a guide for my blog posts, as that will keep me accountable and, hopefully, help keep me focused on my mission for 2014, which is to be a light for Christ. 

ok….ok….I’m getting to the “word”……. (drum roll)……………………………

My word for 2014 is ~ SHINE! 

Please feel free to comment and let me know what your resolution (or word) is, as I will be honored to pray for you to support you in 2014.

Just about a year ago, I travelled with one of my girlfriends to a women’s religious conference.   I remember how excited I was to travel with this friend, but at the same time very nervous, too.   I was nervous because she was a fairly new girlfriend and so she didn’t know some of my “quirks”, and I not hers!  You know, we all have them!  Like, when I eat a piece of pie ~ I always eat the filling first and then the crust!  Or, when I start to fall asleep I sometimes make a “humming” noise!  I know, weird, but hey, at least I don’t talk or walk in my sleep!  I know, it’s weird, but aren’t we all?!  Come on, be honest….I KNOW you have a quirk, or two, too!  But, I digress!  So, I was nervous to travel with my new friend.  Since she didn’t know my “quirks”, I was vulnverable.  I don’t like being vulnerable!  But, who does?! 

And, then, there was the conference.  It was an o.k. conference, but it was A LOT of conference.  Ya’ know?  It was A LOT of information – one of those where you hear a lot of great information, but so much great information that it’s more than overwhelming – it’s like an avalanche of information came tumbling down on me at one time!  There was A LOT of stuff to process, and, I am STILL processing some of it!  I am STILL wading through the pages of notes I took!  Maybe I’m a slow learner or something?!  I just need to take my time processing things.  I like to really think (sometimes I think too much!) and see how the “dots are connecting” in my life from one circumstance to another circumstance.  That’s how I grow….I think! 

So, we made it through a couple of nights in a hotel together and the avalanche of conference information – and the several hour trip of non-stop chatting both ways – and – I’m happy to report we survived one another’s “quirks” and came out closer friends.   But, before we left, my friend gave me a gift.  It was a picture with this really cool flowery design thing, that looks just like me, and in the middle it has these words:  “Friends know the song in your heart and can sing it to you when you have forgotten the words.”  I have this picture hung right by my computer screen so every day I look at it.  Some days it kind of just blends into the background, other days I admire the flowery pattern while my computer is warming up, and other days I read the words over and over again.  On the days I read it multiple times it is because I am either very happy and grateful for the friends I have in my life, and other days it is because I am sad or lonely because of the friends that are missing from my life. 

It’s easy to reflect on my friends when I am happy from sharing a good time with one, or having received a funny text from one, or a thoughtful card ~ like my my girlfriends that I see or talk to on a daily or weekly basis.  They are the one’s I call my “peeps”!  They are the one’s that hear my daily grumbling like when my car wouldn’t start or when the dog chewed up something or my hubby put darks and whites together in the laundry! Or, they are the ones I call first when I want to share a “brag” about my niece accomplishing something or that I won a ticket to something!  But, it can be very sad when reflecting on friends that are missing. 

Some of my friends are missing because God has called them home.  I miss those friends dearly, but find comfort in knowing that they are with our heavenly father and that one day we will be reunited in heaven.  Then there are those friends that because of distance I miss.  Like my friend who lives in Minnesota.  She’s my best friend from college, so we’ve been friends for nearly 30 years!  Or my friend that lives in Alabama.  We have been friends for nearly 16 years!  With both of these friends I have shared a lot of laughs and a lot of tears.  And, then there are those friends that time and “life” seems to interfere with and you just lose track of one another.  Yet, with all of my friends that are either at a distance because of miles or because of “life” we seem to always be able to pick up where we left off.  We greet one another with a huge hug, sometimes with tears of joy, and just chat it up! 

And, then, there are those friends that are missing because of a hurt.  Maybe  cross words have been exchanged or some kind of a misunderstanding has occurred.  These are the toughest reflections!  They cause us to have to look deep into our souls and ask tough questions.  Questions like:  what could I have done differently, or why did I do that, or why did she do that; with the main question being am I willing to forgive.  God tells us in 1 Corinthians that love does not tally wrongs, that love is patient, love is forgiving and that it never fails.  I have been experiencing this kind of love a lot lately.  I believe it’s called GRACE!  I have been led to give grace lately.  And, thankfully, I have been shown a lot of grace lately.  This evening I read the following:  “a good friend will sharpen your character, draw your soul into the light, and challenge your heart to love in a greater way” (author unknown).   I believe that! 

A friend that calls you out on something to challenge you to reach for your higher self is a good friend . 

A friend that reaches into your soul by singing the song of your heart when you have forgotten the words is a great friend. 

A friend that extends grace and a friend that accepts your grace, is a friend that challenges your heart to love in a greater way, and that is the greatest of friends, because as scripture says, “love never fails”! 

As I lay my head to rest tonight I do so with a reflective and thankful heart.  A heart that is challenged to love greater, to forgive greater, and to offer greater grace.  And, I pray over Romans 12: 9 & 10; “don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them…”

Good Night! Love, Jackie 🙂

Good Morning Readers!  Well, my last post was in May and here it is August!  What have I been doing?  A LOT!  Where has the time gone?  Good Question! 🙂  It’s not that I have been so busy that I couldn’t have written, it’s just that I haven’t been able to write!  And, for those of you who know me, I know that’s a little hard to grasp, because I ALWAYS have SOMETHING to SAY!  Right?!  I have started many posts and I just have had a great case of “writer’s block”!  Dave and I have had a lot going on this summer, not so much that I couldn’t write, but that’s just it – I COULDN’T WRITE!  Oh, trust me, there have been days when I have wanted to blog and blog and blog, but when I started this blog it was because I felt led by God to write ~ more of His words than mine ~ to bring Glory and Honor to HIM!  And, believe me, what I have wanted to write and write and write would NOT have brought glory and honor to anyone or anything, especially God! 

Have you ever had so much emotion inside you that you just started spewing everything that is on your mind?  Yep, that’s been me for several months now, but it’s odd because my “word” for this year has been SIMPLIFY.  I started out this year with the intent to simplify my life so that I would have more time for the things that truly matter to me – rather, so that I would consciously choose to spend my time on what really matters to me.  So, in order to do that I have often found myself silenced!  Silenced?  Me?  Yep!  Me!  I often hear my mother’s voice in my head (yes, I hear voices!  ha, ha!), saying “silence is golden, Jackie”!  Some days I hear that resonating in my head so much that I want to shout “shut up”!  Thank the Lord, I haven’t done that, or I’d probably be somewhere far from sitting in my comfy pj’s in my comfy home right now!  lol! 

So, what has prompted me to blog this morning?  GOD!  He apprarently feels my words matter!  Well, at least that I what I read this morning in my OBS devotional (on-line Bible study).  Several times throughout the devotional this morning it said “your words matter”.  This may not seem very powerful to you, but it’s so powerful to me.  You see I have had a lot of emotion to process in the last year.  I have lost a dear friend by her choice to choose another life path, and that is o.k.  For many, many months I was angry in feeling rejected, but I have come to accept that she needs to do what is best for her.  And, a good friend understands that some folks are in your life for a season and, others are in it for the “long haul”.  I wish my friend well!  I have recently lost another dear friend, but not by her choice, or mine.  She fought the fight, but lost her battle with cancer and now sings at the top of her lungs with the angels in praise to God every day!  And, that is a complete photographic picture in my head, that puts a really big smile on my face!

Then, as I’ve shared in previous posts, I have a new position at my place of employment.  I love my job, but the last ten months have been some of the most challenging of my life.  I won’t go into the nauseating details, because they just don’t matter!  What matters the most, though, is that I have been challenged and am developing character qualities and strength to operate from my highest self.  And, I don’t say that boastfully!  I give all honor and glory to God for this.  He has encouraged me every day to reach for my highest self in order to bring honor to Him.  You see I work around a lot of unbelievers.  What better way to witness to a non-believer than to “walk the talk”.  Many, many times when I have wanted to lash out with unkind words and have a tongue like a sword, God has silenced me – and, then, He puts my mother’s voice in my head reminding me “silence is golden”!  I believe that God has called me to obedience in this manner.  He has made me remember that people are always watching others!  He has helped me and challenged me to be the kind of person that when others watch they think:  wow, she is really forgiving; she gives others grace and a second chance; she is kind when met with unkindness; etc….  Most days I fail, miserably, at this, but with God’s help and strength I’m getting better and I HOPE with all my might, that I someday will be a complete Proverbs 31 woman.  (look up the scripture, if you don’t know it!)

We are told that when we are obedient we will see rewards, and, oh, was I given such a wonderful gift this summer!  In June, my mom and I attended a seminar that brought me the BEST GIFT EVER!  At the age of 10, I accepted Jesus into my heart.  I was reared in the church.  So, having a relationship with Christ has just always been a part of me.  Yet, at times, many times, I have felt something missing.  I could never really put my finger on it, but something has been missing.  So, for two days, we sat in this seminar hearing awesome testimony about the love of God, and I can’t even tell you the exact scripture that was spoken, but in one phrase the speaker touched me in a way that it’s really hard to describe.  He spoke it to me when having a conversation and he wrote it down for me.  It’s as if God came into that moment and into that room to say to me, “Jackie, I love you.  YOU!  Not what you do, not what you speak ~ just you – simply you”.  It’s like all of these year’s I have had this parental, authority type relationship with God to where I have been working myself at trying to please Him.  And, while I do need to do that through obedience, I also needed to realize that He LOVES me.  Intelectually I have known that.  However, emotionally, I had not gotten to that level, never, ever, ever, had I FELT the LOVE completely!  Now, do you want to know what those “magic” words were?  Here is what was written and spoken to me:

“Jackie, GRACE sings your name. YOU MATTER!” 

I matter?!  I matter! 

And, YOU matter, too! 

I’m not sure why God has given me writers block for a few months.  Maybe it was because I have been reading so much more scripture.  And, I have been a lot more silent ~ which I know from my mother that “silence is golden”!  I only hear it like a thousand times a day! 🙂 

And, I’m not sure why this morning God awoke me at 4:30 a.m., without an alarm.  I awoke with excitement to read my devotions, get my coffee, and start my day – which for any of you who know me – I am NOT a morning person! 

I’m not sure why, this day of August 15, 2013, God brought to me scripture of Ephesians 6:11-12, again!  It’s kind of been my main scripture for months now!  And, even more so….I’m not sure why He had my OBS leaders write numerous times today in our devotion the words “your words matter” – I mean there are like 20,000+ women in this Bible study, but I’m certain that God wanted me to read that and gave me permission and encouragement to pen these words today.  And, with all my rambling above, I’m completely certain the words I am to bless you with today is:

YOU MATTER! 

All praise and honor be to God, our almighty, loving father.  YOU MATTER to HIM!  He loves YOU!  He forgives YOU!  He LOVES YOU!  YOU MATTER! 

Have a blessed day!  🙂

Today is May 12th, a beautiful sunny day and a day to honor all mother’s ~ Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mom’s reading this! 🙂  Proverbs 11:16 says, “A gracious woman attains honor” ~ there are two key words in this passage – gracious and honor.  Gracious is defined by Webster as:  (1) marked by kindness and mercy; (2) characterized by charm and good taste; (3) merciful; (4) graceful.  Webster says that Honor is:  (1) a person of superior standing; (2) good name; (3) outward respect.   If you’re a mom, do all of these words describe you?  If you’re not a mom, do they describe you?  Some of these words describe me, but they describe MY MOM perfectly.  Perfectly!  But is she perfect, no, she is by far perfect, but that’s what makes her so gracious and honorable ~ she is one of the most gracious and honorable women I know.  What makes her gracious is that she is REAL!  She makes mistakes, gets back up, and keeps going.  She apologizes when she makes an error ~ and she forgives when other’s need forgiving.  She is the most kind person I know!  She freely gives of her time and her resources.  She is a people person and values people ~ one will never hear my mom say that she doesn’t have time to listen or talk to someone ~ she always makes time for other’s.  She is more than charming ~ she is CUTE!  She loves to laugh; loves to have parties and cook for people ~ she’s the hostess with the “mostest”! 🙂  She has great taste ~ there’s no yard trash in her yard!  ha, ha!  She loves out loud ~ she cries for others ~ she prays for others, especially for her husband and her children.  She has been my father’s wife for nearly 50 years!  And, she’s been my mother for 47 years, so I can say all of these things about her from experience! 🙂  And, my mom is respected.  She has always been and continues to be a hard worker, and when combined with all the things I have mentioned it’s no wonder that she is a highly respected woman in her family, circle of friends, and in her community. 

So, by now you’re thinking, “oh, so Jackie’s using her blog to pay tribute to her mom”….well, kind of, yes!  However, more so, I’m using my mom as an example here today.  I admire my mom more than any other woman in the world ~ she’s a strong, independent, kind, and godly woman.  All things I strive to be every day.  So, I’m really writing this as a thank you to my mom for being who she is ~ THANKS MOM!  But, also, as a challenge to myself ~ I want to be a Proverbs 11:16 kind of woman!  I want to be a gracious woman who attains honor. And, even more so, I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman (read Proverbs 31:  10 – 31).  And, I want to be gracious just like my mom ~ one who give thanks to the Lord for all she is and all she is given ~ humility! ~ one who accepts compliments and recognition without being boastful, but giving all the glory to God.  THAT is a gracious and honorable woman.  THAT is MY MOM!  I want to be like her when I grow up! 🙂 

Do you have a mom that you want to be like?  Maybe not, then I challenge you to find a woman who you would like to be like and ask her to mentor you.  WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER!  If you aren’t as lucky as I am to have the kind of mom you would have liked, thank God for her anyway….she is God’s daughter!  Pray for her.  Pray for your relationship.  And keep reading, praying, and listening for God’s wisdom.  He binds up all of our wounds and he can make all things new!  Happy Mother’s Day! 🙂

Time!  It seems to a topic of most conversations I have had recently.  Generally, the phrase that begins the conversation is “there never seems to be enough time”.  I would agree with that, until recently.  I believe there is enough time if we choose to make the time for what is important.  Now don’t go hitting that “x” at the top of the screen and closing this out yet!  Stick with me here!

Let’s face it, whether we are working women, working moms, stay-at-home moms, retired women~ we are busy ~ right?!  I have been wrestling with not having enough time for a while now.  In many conversations that I have had with some dear friends lately there are four words that keep coming up:  (1) time; (2) balance; (3) purpose; (4) seasons.  I love to read and write, so when the same words keep popping up I begin to wonder if I need to give them some thought.  Actually, what it usually means is God leading me to something – like an “a-ha moment”! 

In Ecclesiastes 3:1 it says, “there is a time for everything, and everything on earth has its special season”.  Special season?  Time for everything?  hmmm….interesting that I had been praying for God to show me my purpose in a situation and to help me gain better balance with my personal and professional life.   I sometimes have nights when I can’t get to sleep and when I do I just open my Bible and begin to read.  For several nights in a row I couldn’t sleep and every one of those nights I was drawn to Ecclesiastes.  And here is what God revealed to me: 

1.  Time:  I don’t have enough time for everything I want to do, but if I choose to do what means the most to me, then I feel more fulfilled.  And, the more fulfilled I feel, the more balance I feel!

2.  Balance:  I have the power to choose if I work late.  I have the power to choose my family over my work.  I have the choice to choose God first.  Therefore, my balance is:  God and family first, then work and having fun! 

3.  Purpose:  My purpose and calling in life is to shine a light for Jesus.  When I focus on Him my actions and way I live reflect positively on Him and for Him.  Therefore, people may come to know Him through me.  I must remain focused on Him and be willing to shine for Him. 

4.  Season:  there is a season, a time, and purpose for everything.  However, I am not in control, only God controls the seasons in our life.  Therefore, I must choose to remain focused on Him. 

Easier said than done, right?!  It’s easy to not make time to read my morning and evening devotions.  It’s easy to make an excuse not to go to church or Bible study.  And, I’m so glad that I have a God that forgives me when I don’t focus on Him.  Who forgives me when I’m ugly and don’t shine His light.  Who forgives me when I choose to eat something, or read something, or watch something that isn’t good for me.  How awesome that we have the choice each and every day to choose Him!  God proves and reveals to me every day that I do choose Him that life is a lot better when He is in it ~ even on a crummy day, just knowing He is on my side and in my corner! 

So, what are words that you have been hearing recently?  I encourage you to listen for key words….I’m certain you will hear some! 🙂  And, I’ll let you in on a little secret….I’ve recently been hearing a fifth word….accountability….and, that will be the next subject of my next blog.  Stay tuned and be blessed friends! 🙂

yep, this is one of those posts that’s going to be uncomfortable for me to write, but one I feel called to do, so here goes! 

Do you know a kid that is overweight? 

Maybe you were an overweight kid, so you’ll identify with some of the things I am about to share. 

If you weren’t an overweight kid, were you one of those skinny kids that made fun of a fat kid?  If so, then I am probably one of those kids you made fun of!  I want to thank you for helping to teach me how to be a very personable person; a very kind, caring, and loving person; and for helping me to grow stronger in my relationship with Christ, because most days when you were pointing fingers at me and laughing, I was screaming and crying on the inside from the pain I was feeling, but I had one friend that was always with me – and that friend was and is Jesus. 

It is unfortunate that some kids who are teased (now we call it bullying) become very angry, bitter, and choose bullying behavior; however, others of us learned how to overcome that – we learned how to be friendly and personable to help us engage others and sway others into seeing beyond our fat.  Some of us chose to demonstrate love, compassion, and care to others in order to make them happy, which ultimately made us feel better. 

So,  thank you for helping me to develop character qualities that have helped me make good friends and succeed in life.

About now you’re probably wondering where I am going with this.  Well, you see, the last several months have been very trying for me.  I have lost a friendship that was very important to me and lately I have been grieving the loss of that friendship.  I had been hopeful that my friend and I would be able to overcome hurt feelings that had occurred between us, but it seems that is just not in the life plan of our friendship.  And, you see, friendship – actually all relationships are very important to me.  

You see, when one has walked the path of a fat kid, relationships are something that you work hard at and hold in a high regard, because as a fat kid you typically don’t have a whole lot of friendships, so the ones that you do have you work really hard to keep.  And, that is where I learned to invest in the relationships in my life ~ a character quality that I am truly grateful for. 

A friend recently gave me a card that reads:  “A good friend brings us closer to God…an open and compassionate heart, a forgiving spirit, an honest voice…which is God’s love in action”.  That is so true.  I find that my greatest friends are those who are committed Christ followers and who try to live according to His word and principles.  In turn, that is the type of friend that I am committed to be. 

As in Matthew it says, “where your heart is there your treasure is also”.  As a Christ follower, I am committed to treating all folks with compassionate care, with a forgiving and open heart and mind. 

I’ve spent a lot of money and a lot of time in therapy trying to overcome the hurt that I carried in my heart from being one of “those fat kids” and I am so very, very grateful that I have been able to grow and learn so very much about character, forgiveness, and authentic relationships.  I’m glad to be at a point in my adult life that I can be thankful for being a “fat kid”.  It is my personal goal, now, to become a non-fat adult!  And, with baby steps I believe it is a goal that will be attained because I have the best life coach possible – JESUS! 

Dear Lord, thank you for all the love, gifts, and authentic relationships you have given me in my life.  May I always live my life so that others may know you because of the way I live and I ask you for strength and courage in reaching out to those who are hurting.  Amen.

It was a cool Thursday morning when we walked into the “diagnostic testing” area of our local hospital for my husband to have a “routine” stress test.  After he went back with the nurse to begin his testing, I began to read and make a list of all the things I wanted to accomplish later in the day, as I was prepared to wait for several hours for his entire testing procedure.   I didn’t get very far into my “list” when the nurse came to me and said, “I need you to wait in another area, as the doctor needs to speak with you”.  WHAM!  Suddenly, my own heart was racing with fear and concern flowing through my veins.  Long story short, my husband was having irregular heartbeats that could have led to very serious complications.  He is on medication and will have a “new normal”, but this condition is very manageable and he should be just fine.  PRAISE GOD! 

My husband and I are so very thankful that we have such wonderful friends, family, and church.  As soon as I was put in the “special” waiting area, I sent a quick text to a few close friends who are our prayer warriors and within minutes one, who happens to work at the hospital, was at my side with a huge hug.  How comforting for me and my husband for God to have in place a person to bring calmness and love immediately to us!  Throughout the day other friends and pastors were checking in with us by visiting or sending a text message of encouragement and prayers of comfort. 

When it comes to matters of the heart, pun intended!, God does such a wonderful job of sending people to us when our hearts are so fearful that it nearly freezes with the inability to think or function.  He gives us folks to remind us to keep our focus on Him, because HE has it all, just as he says in Phillippians 4: 6-7 ~ 

 ^“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

God is so GREAT!  He put this “routine” test at just the right time to catch a problem.  He sent a wonderful cardiologist.  He sent our family and friends with encouraging words, just when we needed them.  And, He granted us his peace with the reminder ~ HE had this under control the entire time. 

I praise God and give HIM all the glory for the healing hands He is placing on my husband, and for the early detection.  Thank you, God, for protecting my husband’s heart!  And, for putting your disciples just where they needed to be, when then we needed them to be.  YOU, Lord, are AMAZING! 🙂

One of my favorite movies is “Facing the Giants”!  If you have never seen the movie, I encourage you to do so, especially if you need a little encouragement.   The most favorite line in the movie, for me, is at the end and goes like this… “Tell me, what is impossible with God on your side”…..and, of course, the individual posed with this has to say…. “nothing”! 

I sometimes have to say this line to myself ~ multiple times throughout the day, on one of THOSE days!  Do you ever have days where you need to remind yourself of this?  I’m sure that we all do ~ especially during this time of the year!  What is it about the holiday season that drives some to the near brink of “losing it” because they are killing themselves to try to make everything perfect?  And, I can say this because I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to this!  Perfection flows through me as easily as my blood, but it’s something that I have to temper continually.  I’m not “perfect” at tempering this (pun intended!), but I have a secret for doing this….it’s to remind myself that I have been made perfect in the image of God because HE created me.  And, do you know what?  That is the very same for YOU!  HE perfectly created YOU, too!  Now does that mean we are truly perfect?  Heck NO!  But, what it does mean is that God knows each of us because HE created us and HE loves us, perfectly.  So, when we have that tucked into our brains and hearts we may remember that we do NOT have to kill ourselves to have everything in our lives perfect.  For example, the tree does not have to be perfect, if there is one or two light bulbs burned out it does not matter!  It does not matter if we served Stauffer’s lasagna or homemade lasagna to dinner guests ~ what does matter is the time we spend with the guests.  The details in life is not about the “stuff” ~ it’s about the people ~ the love. And, do you feel like you have a million things to do during this season, too?  I know, it’s crazy, isn’t it?!  I have to remind myself, “nothing is impossible, Jackie, with God on your side”.   He will take care of all of the details, I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

So, I’m not sure this really makes much sense this month.  I feel like my brain is unable to focus on much these days, so I just keep trying to keep my focus on Him….because at the end of the day when I lay my head down to rest I know that I may end my day with “nothing, today, was impossible becasue of God” and I may thank Him for all of it!

In His Love, Glory, and Honor,

Jackie

Let’s begin by looking at what Webster’s tells us about the word “forgiveness”…

~forgive, the verb = “to give up resentment of”
~forgiving, the adjective = “willing or able to forgive”; “allowing room for error or weakness”

Now, let’s look at what the Bible tells us about the word “forgiveness”…

“This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” ~Matthew 26:28 NIV

“Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.” ~ Luke 17:3-4 MSG

Now let’s look at some lyrics to a wonderful song:

“Forgiveness” by Matthew West

It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don’t deserve

It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word…

Forgiveness
Forgiveness

It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It’s always anger’s own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge
Say you gotta right to hold a grudge
It’s the whisper in your ear saying ‘Set It Free’

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible

Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it’s power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

I want to finally set it free
So show me how to see what Your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

For the last few months I have been deeply hurt because of a misunderstanding, rather misperception with one of my dearest and closest friends. I am not one to be “sappy” ~ I do NOT like to cry or be emotional in front of people. I trace that back to when I was the fat kid on the playground being made fun of and learning to “stuff” and keep a stellar demeanor because I never wanted the other kids to know they were getting to me. If I didn’t let them know they were getting to me then it ended quickly. Unfortunately, though, what that taught me over the years was to turn that hurt into anger and bitterness. Fortunately though, with spiritual maturity, lots of prayer, and studying the Bible I have softened over the years and have become a more forgiving and graceful person – but I’m not perfect that it yet!

I often revert to my old ways when I am deeply hurt and become very angry, as not to show emotion – sometimes I go so far as to put up a wall of protection around me and become very sarcastic and down right “pig headed”! Thank God, though, that I have the good sense to pray about what hurts me now and that I have realized listening to God for direction is a much better way to go then hanging onto anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness.

It’s kind of comical, to me, that I had heard Matthew West’s song “Forgiveness” several times when it first came out earlier this year, but it seems that the last couple of months I’ve heard it, at least, once a day and sometimes multiple times a day! Gee, I wonder, do you think God was trying to tell me something?!

So, getting back to this “misperception” between me and my friend. I have been praying for her daily, specifically that God would soften my broken, yet hardened heart, to be able to give her the grace, understanding, and forgiveness that God gives me a million times a day. And, I’m so very happy to share with you that God answered this prayer in a way I never would have imagined – He gave me a soft heart, a very emotional heart ~ a heart of grace, a heart of forgiveness, a heart of thankgiving, and a heart of love. You see earlier this week my friend and I had the opportunity to come face to face and oh, the emotions that flowed from me ~ I was so surprised and so thankful! The long awaited embrace and cleansing tears flowed honestly and lovingly from both. Forgiveness… It’ll clear the bitterness away; it can even set a prisoner free; there is no end to what it’s power can do. So, let it go and be amazed by what you see through eyes of grace ~ the prisoner that it really frees is you. Forgiveness! 🙂

Now those who see this title and know me well will think, “what does she know about parental love”, because I have no children! That doesn’t stop me from knowing about parental love though! I mean take this for example, my dog, Sherman, is on medication this week that makes him pee “over the moon”! So, my husband and I have tag-teamed for about the last five nights to wake up every one to two hours to take Sherman outside. I know, roll your eyes, but is that not similar to all the mothers who get up every hour to check on a sick child? I know, for those of you who don’t have pets that are like children to you, I have probably lost you as a reader now – well, that’s o.k., but stick with this here and I guarantee you will believe that I do understand parental love by the end of this entry!

I believe that I have had the best parents in the world and they modeled what “parental love” is very well. They worked hard to provide financially for me and my sister, they made sure our basic needs were met (food, clothing, shelter), they attended every performance or sporting event we were in, and they showed affection. My parents listened to us, too ~ I remember as a teenager standing at the end of the kitchen counter watching my mom cook dinner and talking non-stop! My mom always made sure our holidays were special and decorated our home beautifully for that added special “touch”! And, as I have grown into an adult and made choices, at times, that my parents were less than thrilled with, they supported me ~ they respected the choice I made and NEVER turned their back on me. The greatest thing my parents did for me, though, that I’m not sure I realized until I was an adult, is that they prayed for me! They prayed often and fervently and entrusted me into God’s hands.

I remember as a little girl playing “mommy” with my baby dolls. Soon my interest in dolls ended when there would be kittens – lots of kittens over the years! – baby bunnies and baby birds to “mother”. Unfortunately, most of my attempts at saving birds never came to fruition and I would experience the loss of each one I tried to save. And, of course, many of the kittens wouldn’t make it either, but it was a good way to learn about death and grief and the preciousness of life as I grew into an adult. And, as a teenager I “mothered” many children in the neighborhood for short periods of time while I babysat for them. I LOVED children and still do!

When my husband I married we decided parenting wasn’t something we wanted to do; there is an age difference between us and we felt it was best not to have children of our own. Of course, then we changed our mind for a short period of time with no results and realized God had another plan! Many years later we discovered I had endometriosis and were told it was good we didn’t desperately want children, like so many couples do that have to deal with the disappointment of not having their dream come true. Although, I think one of the main reasons that we were able to accept “the news” was because we were, in essence, co-parenting a little girl by the name of Ashley. You see, Ashley’s mom is one of my dearest friends and we live just one house apart. When Ashley was born I began babysitting her, but little did we know that the babysitting “job” would become one of the greatest relationships I would ever have in my life. When you “babysit” a child each and every day of their life and build that child into your family life on the weekends and special occasions that child really becomes like a “child” to you. Today, my “little” Ashley is 21! And, I find myself a little nostalgic!

When I think back over the last 21 years with Ashley I am amazed at the love I have had for this person. Oh, she was just so cute as a little baby, toddler and girl! I was proud to tote her around town to the grocery, church, library, or anywhere – she was one of those children that you could take anywhere – she was well-behaved and well-mannered. She was even invited to weddings where other children were not! I remember snuggling at nap time to read the Barney nursery rhyme book and how she would end up reading them to me because she had them all memorized! Ashley loved Barney ~ we watched Barney every day! Ashley also loved Susie! Susie was her soft baby that she carried for comfort – you know, the one I would have to “sneak” to wash while she would be napping and then put her back quickly! 🙂 As Ashley grew there have been rough patches ~ times when she has made choices that I didn’t approve of, times when she has pulled away from me, but one thing has always remained – I love her! One of the greatest moments I shared with Ashley was when she was about 4 years old and we were driving down the freeway singing along with a child’s hymn tape and Ashley began to cry ~ I pulled over to figure out what was wrong and she was crying and telling me she didn’t know why she was crying, but that she felt Jesus and at that very moment “my” little girl accepted Jesus into her heart ~ it was the most precious prayer I will ever have shared with someone.

And, when I think of parental love I also think of how God parents us. Have you ever thought about how we break God’s heart when we make choices and don’t follow His commandments? Have you ever cried over a child’s choice and then thought about how God weeps when we do the very same thing? Or, have you ever been in the bleachers cheering on your child in a sporting event and have you ever thought about God doing the same thing with us ~ I mean God has a very good seat in His bleachers and He cheers us on every minute of every day! The Bible tells us that God loves us so much that He knows just how many hairs are on our head! That is amazing! I know that I find great comfort in knowing that I have a Father in Heaven who is watching me every second of every day ~ cheering for me or weeping for me, both bring me great comfort.

So, you see, when we think of Parental Love in the terms of the way God loves us, we all have a better understanding of it. Today I am thankful for a God who parents me. I’m thankful for my parents who are just the best in the whole wide world. I’m thankful that I have had the opportunity to parent a little girl, who is now 21 years old named Ashley. And, I’m thankful that I am also called “Cora’s mom” and “Sherman’s mom” ~ they may be just dogs to a lot of folks that see them, but to me they are my fur-babies and I love them dearly.

Join me in hugging a child today and when you do remember that is what God does each and every day if we just tune in to feel His embrace.